Warning Signs
by celtickat
Summary: When Abby acts un-Abby and refuses to accept there is a problem, how far will the team go to get to help her?  Rated T for now, this may change.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This will be long and angst filled. It's different to anything I've tried before so ANY AND ALL comments and criticism, particularly about OOC characters (With the exception of Abby, she's SUPPOSED to be OOC!) are welcome and encouraged. Thanks :)**

CHAPTER 1

Ducky was the last to arrive, just as the rest of the team were settling down with their drinks. Looking round he asked "No Abigail this evening?"

"No, she said she already had plans" McGee answered.

"That is a shame, I do miss her exuberance at these little get togethers"

"That's a point, when was the last time everyone's favourite Goth came out with us?" Tony asked.

The team thought back over various events, both impromptu and organised and realised that it had been about six months since Abby had been out with them as a group.

Further discussion revealed that she hadn't seen ANY of them outside work on an individual basis for at least that long, if not longer.

"You think something is wrong?" "Did we do something to upset her?" "Has she got a new boyfriend?" "Nah, she'd soon tell us if we'd pissed her off" "She hasn't mentioned one but maybe" "It's plain weird"

Gibbs tuned out the multiple conversations going on around and over him and cast his mind back over the last few months, trying to pinpoint any obvious changes in Abby.

She was more subdued, less communicative, less demanding of his approval.

Each of these things, had happened so gradually, over such a long period of time that it was impossible to distinguish when each had started, or to isolate a specific time or event that caused them.

Taken individually, even the lack of socialisation, these changes were not enough to cause him concern, but when viewed as a whole…

Gibbs realised that the table had fallen silent and they were all looking at him expectantly.

"I'll talk to her"


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

**A/N these early chapters will be short, mainly because they are "setting the scene", I promise they will get longer when we get into the meat of the story **

Despite it being their weekend off, the team was called in the next day, the on-call team having come down with food poisoning.

Tony looked the most hung over with McGee not far behind him; Ziva was so chirpy that Gibbs suspected she might still be drunk. With the boys slouched in their chairs and Ziva mercilessly teasing them, Gibbs decided it was the perfect time to visit Abby.

He hesitated before going in, observing, there was music on but it was more muted than normal, less offensive to the senses.

Faking a smile he walked into the lab with a bright "Hey Abs!"

"Hey!" Abby turned from her PC and faltered "I…don't have anything on the go for your team"

"I know; I just came to say hi. We missed you last night"

Abby's eyes narrowed and she gave Gibbs a look he couldn't read.

"Everything ok Abs?"

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?"

Gibbs was lost for words, to be honest he hadn't expected her to say anything other than yes to his question but he hadn't expected her to be so aggressively defensive.

Abby turned from him abruptly and started typing furiously. Knowing a dismissal when he saw one, Gibbs stifled a sigh of frustration and silently left the lab.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

**A/N 1: wow! Am blown away by the positive reviews and number of alerts. Thank you, each one make me smile **

**A/N 2: Thanks to a delayed flight, I had time to write 3 chapters today rather than the 1 I had planned. **

The weekend passed quietly with no new cases, rather than work through cold cases, Ziva, McGee and Tony played poker, Gibbs, distracted as he was by Abby, let them.

Several times Gibbs had gone down to the lab, ostensibly to provide Caf Pow refills. Each time Abby had been on the phone and only reluctantly acknowledged him, clearly unwilling to break from her conversation.

After cutting the team loose on Sunday evening, Gibbs hung around till Abby was leaving, then, feeling like a creep, he got into a pool car and discreetly followed her.

Watching from the street he had only a partial view of one room in Abby's apartment and although he sat for an hour, all he saw was a guy take her coat and hand her a full wine glass.

The next few days passed in a blur thanks to a triple murder.

When the entire team was in the lab reviewing the forensics, Gibbs, watching Abby closely said "When do we get to meet the new boyfriend Abs?"

Tony's remark died in his throat as Abby grew still and turned a glare onto Gibbs.

"I don't have a boyfriend, new or otherwise" she hissed.

"Looked pretty cosy to me" Gibbs pressed, hating himself every second.

"You're spying on me now?" Abby's voice was dangerously low.

"No, I'm concerned and just happened to notice as I was passing by"

"You just happened to be going past my apartment, just happened to look up at my window, just happened to see a guy there and then just happened to assume that he was my boyfriend?" Abby's voice was still low and her entire body was tensed.

"Hey, Abs! Calm down, this is us, we're just looking out for you" Tony tried to take some of the tension out of the room.

"I have work to do, so if the only thing you all have to do is discuss my private life, then do it elsewhere" The anger in her voice was unmistakable and the team filed out of the lab looking slightly shell shocked.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

During the following weeks Gibbs kept a close eye on Abby. While she was always professional and civil the welcome in her lab was definitely frosty and people started going down there only when they had to.

As soon as the triple murderer was in custody Gibbs pulled his team aside.

"This 'friend' of Abby's, I don't like it. I want to know everything about him"

McGee spoke first "How? We don't even know his name"

"You're an investigator McGee, investigate!" Gibbs resisted the urge to shake his agent. "Check phone records, follow them, break in and get DNA and fingerprints if you need to, just get me what I need to know"

The team stared at him in amazement "Do you really think it's that serious?" Tony questioned softly.

"Would I be asking you to do this if I didn't?" Gibbs shot back.

"She will never forgive us if she finds out"

"Then make sure she doesn't find out"

McGee hesitated, he felt sick at the thought of what he was about to do, then he thought of the stranger Abby had become and he looked to Tony for the final, silent nod of encouragement he needed.

Taking a deep breath he started pressing keys that would reveal Abby's phone records.

Less than 20 minutes later he caught Gibbs attention "Um…"

"Spit it out McGee"

"Ah, well, it would appear she's been calling herself"

""Don't have time for cryptic Tim"

"There is one cell number that she calls, 5, 6 times a day. Shortest call was 7 mins, longest was an hour and 12 mins. This number never calls her, only ever sends texts which say 'call me'. The number is registered to Abby, at her address and is paid for out of her checking account."

Gibbs stared at McGee's screen for a long time then without turning said quietly "Tony, I want photos, go easy, don't get caught"

Tony grimaced, nodded and left.

It took Tony a full 3 days of careful concealment, fast driving and a really good telephoto lens to get a photo good enough for the facial recognition programme.

They didn't want to run the photo while Abby was in the building, even though the chances of her paying them a social visit were slim so they had to wait another 24 hours before kicking it off.

They were shocked when within seconds they had a hit to a file that was sealed and flagged by the FBI.

Tony and Gibbs shared a look of trepidation. This was not good.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Gibbs went home and waited. As soon as he heard the door he called out "Hope you brought dinner Tobias"

"Cheeseburgers, I assume you have beer" came the response.

Easy in each others company the two men ate in silence. Settling back with his beer Fornell cut straight to the chase "What's your interest in Curtis Burton?"

"That his name?"

"One of them"

"What's his story?"

"I asked first Jethro"

"He's 'involved' with a friend of mine, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with it so I thought I'd check him out"

"Let me guess, your friend is female, successful, confident and popular, or at least she used to be?"

Gibbs nodded, not liking where this was going.

"Your friend is in serious trouble Jethro, this guy, he's sick. He takes sadistic pleasure in destroying people lives. He spends months, sometimes years infiltrating their lives, manipulating them until the only person in their lives is him then he disappears leaving an empty shell of a person behind"

Gibbs eyed him steadily "How long has he been at this?"

"8 years that we know of"

"Why haven't you stopped him" Gibbs was close to yelling and fighting to keep control of his temper.

"He's clever Jethro and subtle, he never actually breaks any laws"

Fornell watched as Gibbs paced angrily. "How long ago did you notice the warning signs?"

"They started about 6/7 months ago but we only really starting paying attention a few weeks ago"

"That means he's been around for at least a year" Fornell hesitated before continuing, believing he already knew the answer "Does the friend have a name?"

The look of anguish in Gibbs eyes confirmed the answer long before Gibbs found the strength to whisper "Abby"

Fornell handed Gibbs a thick file "Read this, so you know what we're up against but do nothing until I get back in touch"


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Gibbs read through the file slowly, over and over. His anger and fear increasing with each repetition. Every time he closed his eyes, segments of text floated behind his eye lids.

'4 years of subtle manipulation left Laura incapable of making any decision on her own'

'There have been 2 suicides and 3 attempted suicides of known victims'

He knew sleep was out of the question so he retreated to the basement with a sanding block and a bottle of Bourbon.

Fornell called mid morning "One of his victims has agreed to talk to you, meet me for lunch"

Gibbs walked into the diner bang on 1pm. "Where is she then Tobias?"

"One step at a time Jethro"

"Damn it Tobias, I don't have time for this, she's slipping away!"

"And she'll slip away a lot faster if you don't take the time now to do things properly"

Gibbs growled in frustration, but, knowing Fornell was right, he sat down.

"You'll be meeting with a girl called Sara. Curtis walked out of her life about a year ago; she lost her job a few weeks later. Her family had severed all contact and her friends had vanished long before. She ended up on the street, dabbled in drugs. Her godfather found her and got her into a rehab hostel. She is under intense therapy and has started to re-build her life.

Before you meet her, you have to be aware, she is agoraphobic and terrified of most people on sight; don't expect her to trust you, not at first. This will take time Jethro. I know it's important but I will not let you push her into something she's not ready to deal with"

"How did the meeting with me come about?"

"I told her about you and the situation, and I promised to be there the entire time"

"She trusts you?" Gibbs managed to conceal his surprise.

Fornell nodded but didn't elaborate.

"When?"

"This evening, 6pm, in her therapist's office, here's the address, don't be late"

Gibbs paced nervously outside the building waiting for Fornell and Sara.

When they did arrive, his heart went out to the girl, she was stick thin with dull, lifeless hair. Her eyes didn't settle on anything for more than a split second, she seemed to be constantly scanning for threats.

She refused to acknowledge Gibbs until they were inside the therapist's office, a place Sara obviously associated with safety.

Fornell sat between Gibbs and the girl who kept a tight hold of his hand.

When Sara started to talk it was flat and emotionless, more akin to reciting a shopping list than describing a personal trauma. Gibbs recognised this as a coping mechanism used by those with post traumatic stress disorder.

"2 years Bobby, that's what he called himself then, was in my life. At first he was like the best friend I'd been missing my whole life, he pretended he wanted the best for me and according to him my family and friends were holding me back. I don't remember everything he said over those years but it was all designed to undermine everything and everyone I believed in, he kept at it until the only thing left was him, then he vanished"

"If you confront Abby with anything negative about him, she won't believe you and he'll use it to prove he was right. You'll be the bad guy and it'll drive her deeper into his control"

Gibbs waited until he was sure she had finished before saying softly "There must be something I can do"

For the first time Sara met his eyes, the fear in her had been replaced by a blazing anger. "There is" she said "let me talk to her"

Leaving the office, once Sara was safely in the car, Gibbs caught Fornell's arm "You gonna make me an offer I can't refuse?"

Fornell chuckled as he climbed into the drivers' seat beside Sara "Tony would be proud. One day I will explain"

Cocking an eyebrow Gibbs walked to his own car "I'll be in touch"


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

**A/N this was the hardest chapter I've ever had to write. Big thank you to my editor who has the patience of a saint when dealing with my 'I can't do this, it's too hard' whining****. All reviews much appreciated.**

Sara was adamant she would talk to Abby.

Fornell was adamant that she shouldn't.

Gibbs was adamant that they do something.

Sara won the argument with one well aimed comment "Stop trying to control me Tobias, that's exactly what he did. I want to do this and I will do this"

Once it had been agreed the plan was deceptively simple; Gibbs would get Abby to the therapists' office, call Fornell who would pick up Sara and meet them there.

The reality of course was anything but simple.

Gibbs knew he couldn't be straight with her, she would never agree if she knew where they were and why, so as much as it went against the grain to lie, he decided it was the only way.

It took over a week for the right opportunity to come along, a case with very little in the way of forensics.

"Abby" Gibbs kept his distance despite wanting to wrap his arms around her and protect her from the world.

She looked at him questioningly.

"I need you to come down to the crime scene"

"Why? I don't do crime scenes, that's what your team is for"

"The forensics on this one are sparse and I'd appreciate your help in checking we haven't missed anything" Gibbs hated lying to her and had to struggle to maintain eye contact.

With a barely suppressed sigh of annoyance, Abby agreed.

"Meet me out front, I just need to call ahead and tell them we're coming" As Gibbs dialled Fornell's number he told himself over and over that he was doing the right thing.

Gibbs was grateful the drive would be a short one. Rather than filling the silence with babble and constant flicking of radio stations Abby sat staring out the side window. Gibbs endured the heavy silence, reminded again how much he missed _his_ Abby and resolved, again, that he would do whatever it took to bring her back, regardless of any personal sacrifice he had to give along the way.

He grew more nervous as they pulled up outside the therapists' office and saw Fornell's car already there.

Abby jumped out of the car quickly, seemingly anxious to get this over with.

"Doesn't look much like the crime scene, why isn't it taped off?"

Gibbs didn't reply, just opened the door and ushered her into the building.

Fornell met them in the foyer, Abby eyed him with suspicion "I didn't realise the FBI had an interest in this case"

Fornell ignored her and opened another door "Through here".

Abby walked into the room and found herself alone with Sara, she looked around for Gibbs and Fornell but neither were to be seen.

"Hi, my name is Sara and you and I need to talk"

Gibbs and Fornell had moved quickly to adjoining room where Fornell had set up a video feed, Sara concession to Fornell insisting he be present.

They both stood to watch the feed, both terrified, both ready to burst into the other room if the situation became unbearable.

Abby stared at Sara for a long time before asking aggressively "What is this?"

"I want to talk to you about this man and what he's doing to you" Sara held out a photo of Curtis.

Abby no more than glanced at the photo "He's not doing anything to me that would be any of your business" she crossed her arms defensively.

"He destroyed my life and he'll do the same to you if you let him"

Gibbs could see the anger rising in Abby, her faced was flushed and her movements became more precise, more controlled.

Rather than describe her own experience again, Sara directed all her comments at Abby's situation.

"He does things for you that you are perfectly capable of doing yourself. He takes all the small decisions out of your hands, telling you that you shouldn't be worrying about what to have for dinner or what movie to watch"

Sara saw she was getting nowhere and pushed harder, she needed to force a reaction, any reaction was better than placid denial.

"He's told you that your friends are holding you back, using you to get themselves ahead. You've stopped seeing anyone socially but right now you think that's been your decision. You don't do any of your old activities, your choices in food, music, movies, _everything_ have changed at his suggestion."

Sara didn't miss Abby's icy glare but she continued on regardless.

"When he has you completely isolated he will start making you doubt your ability to do your job, when he has achieved that, he'll leave, just up and go without a word, leaving you with nothing and nobody"

"You have no idea what you are talking about" Abby was dismissive.

"Yes, I do. The man you know as Curtis was in my life for 2 years and he did to me exactly what he's doing to you. If it wasn't for my Godfather I'd be dead by now, or worse.

My Godfather never gave up on me, the same as Gibbs will never give up on you. Please, _please_ let us help you before it's too late"

Abby took two long strides to stand toe to toe with Sara, she grabbed her thin shoulders and began to shake her "I might have known Gibbs was behind this, he can't stand to see someone else making me happy. Curtis is the best thing that ever happened to me and I will not let you, Gibbs or anyone else take that away" Abby was screaming, her face inches from Sara's.

Suddenly Gibbs and Fornell were in the room. Gibbs took hold of Abby and lifted her away while Fornell gathered Sara into his arms.

Abby fought, struggled and twisted herself out of Gibbs grasp.

"Curtis was right about you! You disgust me, I hate you" Abby hissed at Gibbs, her voice full of venom then flew from the room.

"ABBY!" Gibbs called after her.

"Let her go Jethro"

"Never gonna happen Tobias, NEVER!"


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

When Gibbs got back to the Navy Yard he was surprised to find Abby there. He wasn't surprised to find she had locked herself in the lab and was ignoring all attempts at communication.

Summoning his team he filled them in on what had happened during the meeting with Sara.

They all stared at him in a stunned silence.

"She actually said that…to _you_?"

Gibbs nodded.

"She couldn't have meant it"

"Oh she meant it all right"

"What now?"

"We give her the file, the scientist in her might be more receptive to the black and white facts" Tony seemed to the one thinking most clearly.

Tony took the file and deliberated over the best way to deliver it. In the end he popped into the internal mail and waited till it was delivered.

He watched from the corridor outside the lab as she opened the envelope and flicked through the file, he watched as she read it once and then again. He was prepared for her to be annoyed, to ask questions, even challenge him on how and why they had the file but he was not at all prepared to witness the fury that erupted from her, a fury that manifested itself in the deliberate and systematic destruction of everything breakable in the lab.

He fled as she spotted him watching. Sprinting up to the bull pen he arrived seconds before Abby.

The entire room stopped and stared as the once friendly Goth marched up to Gibbs throwing a file in his face. The entire room listened in shock as she got right in his face and screeched "This is nothing but malicious lies, I hate you all"

No-one tried to stop her as she ran from the building.

The team all looked at each other, dismay and fear being the prevalent emotions on display.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Ziva sat alone in her apartment thinking back over the drama of her life and people who had played leading roles. Eli, Ari, Rivkin, Tali. Gibbs, McGee, Tony, Abby.

Gibbs, the father who had done more for her than Eli ever had.

McGee, the brother Ari could never be.

Tony, in his own way Tony loved her more than Rivkin ever could.

Abby, the sister and best friend Tali should have been allowed to grow into.

Ziva had vowed to herself that she would never return to the old ways, to who she used to be, but, she had to, it was the only way she knew to save her family; she would willingly sacrifice herself for them.

It took patience, Curtis rarely left Abby's apartment and on the few occasions he did, Abby was with him.

Then, late one night he appeared on his own. Staying only close enough to keep him in sight, Ziva followed, driving slowly in a car she had 'borrowed' from an unsuspecting local resident.

Curtis glanced around, clearly about to cross the road. Ziva saw her chance, gunned the engine and accelerated. At the last possible second she slammed on the braked, bracing for impact, shielding her head in case of flying glass.

The sound of Curtis crunching into the windscreen was sickening, the dull thud as he rolled off was worse.

Ziva leapt from the car, wincing at the jolt her body had absorbed.

Curtis was silent, his limbs at odd angles. Ziva crouched over him, avoiding the spreading pool of blood. She carefully checked for a pulse and not finding one, stood and looked around carefully. Seeing no one she took off at a sprint, not stopping, not looking back.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

**A/N As a reward for all the reviews and alerts, have another chapter…**

Ducky had watched from the sidelines as the cracks slowly appeared in his friends. Rather than pull together they were all withdrawing into themselves, each sure that they were to blame for not spotting the warning signs in time to help Abby. He knew he was guilty of doing the same and in an attempt to prevent complete destruction of the team he invited them all over for dinner.

They all drifted in individually, the conversation stilted and forced.

This dinner 'party' was interrupted by a wild eyed Abby.

"You killed him" She accused the group.

Gibbs stood up, he couldn't help himself, he moved towards her, arms outstretched "Abby?"

Abby stepped back "DON'T. TOUCH. ME."

She met each of their eyes as she re-stated her accusation seeing blank looks being returned from everyone except Ziva.

Focusing now on Ziva alone Abby said for a third time "You killed him"

"Abby…I….."

"Save it for the police" Abby backed out of the room, as she reached the door she turned and ran.

"It was the only way" Ziva whispered then she too, ran.

"Oh dear" Ducky's statement summed up the situation perfectly.

Ziva followed Abby back to her apartment. Knowing Abby would never willingly open the door, she calmly picked the lock.

She found Abby sitting on the floor reading a police report.

"The official line is that he was killed in a hit and run _accident_. A joy rider in a stolen car, no leads, apprehension unlikely"

Ziva said nothing.

"It was you, you killed him" Abby's voice was harsh, a strange mixture of loss and fury.

"Yes, you are correct I did kill him. What he was doing to you, to our family, I could not allow that to continue"

"Jealousy, you killed him out of jealousy"

"Oh wake up Abby! How can you believe the lies he has told you about your friends? After everything you have been through together, are you really so blinded that you cannot see what this is doing to them?"

There was a glimmer of something in Abby's eyes that propelled Ziva to push harder and faster.

"Every one of them has put their jobs on the line for you, everyone would die for you. Everyone of them feels responsible for the pain. This is tearing them apart"

Abby surged to her feet, Ziva responded by stepping closer.

"Curtis, what he was doing to you, was slowly killing Gibbs and there is _nothing_ I will not do to prevent that. There was a time you felt the same"

"NO! I mean nothing to Gibbs"

Ziva, confused by Abby's response, nevertheless saw an opening and took it. She slapped Abby, hard. "Gibbs loves you"

It was enough to put a crack in the illusion Curtis has so painstakingly built up in Abby's mind. Reality came crashing in. Abby stared at Ziva in horror.

It was too much, Abby slumped to the floor, her eyes blank.

Ziva dropped to her knees and reached out. Abby flinched and cowered, the only sound coming from her, a heart breaking whimper.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

**A/N ****the site hasn't let me upload for a few days. Sorry this one is so short, chapter 12 will be up tonight, promise!**

Ziva held it together long enough to call Tony, then she moved as far away from Abby as she could while still keeping her in sight. Unconsciously mirroring Abby's movements, she sank to the floor drawing her knees up to her chest.

It took less that 20 mins for the team to get to Abby's place and as soon as he saw the situation Ducky took charge.

"Anthony, help me get Abby into the other room. Timothy, make a pot of tea. Jethro, talk to Ziva, I fear that you alone will able to get through to her"

As soon as they were alone, Gibbs sat down beside Ziva, by snapping his fingers close to her face he got her to focus on him.

"Tell me what happened"

Mechanically, Ziva recounted every word, action and reaction. She was holding her emotions in check, barely and Gibbs knew he had to talk fast.

"Ziver, you did the right thing for the right reasons. You are nothing like Saleem."

Ziva turned away from him, too afraid of what she might see in his eyes.

"I'm proud of you"

She turned back and met his gaze, seeing only the truth. He eyes filled with unshed tears and her chin trembling as she fought to hold them back.

Gibbs slipped an arm around her shoulders and held her as she let the tears fall. He knew this wasn't over for Ziva, not by a long way but maybe he had managed to head off the immediate crisis.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

**A/N I've written this chapter 4 times and I'm still not sure about it, so all reviews, comments**** and criticism very much appreciated. **

Once they were alone Ducky examined Abby closely. He could see no signs of physical injury but he was much more concerned with the psychological trauma he knew she had suffered and would continue to suffer for some time.

It took him a few minutes to realise that Abby was whispering, the same phrase over and over again. He had to lean close to make out the words "What have I done?"

Ducky sat back and observed her for a long time, she was restless and clearly agitated incessantly scratching and pulling at her skin. She was also completely oblivious to his presence.

Acting on a sudden impulse he called Tony into the room. He sat beside her, hugged her, talked to her. It made no difference.

Next he called in McGee, he was totally shell shocked to see Abby is such a state and could barely form a coherent sentence, not that Abby noticed, her demeanour didn't change in the slightest.

Ducky hesitated before calling in Gibbs. If this didn't provoke a positive reaction, Ducky knew he would have no choice but to hospitalise Abby. He also wanted to give Gibbs as much time as possible alone with Ziva. When he was no longer comfortable with delaying, he called for Gibbs.

The effect on Abby was immediate, her scratching became frenzied, her nails digging deep into her skin leaving long red lines on both arms and her whisper became a wail.

Gibbs was beside her in an instant, taking her hands into his. His touch immediately calmed her and Ducky let out a sigh of relief.

Ducky left the room, leaving them alone.

Gibbs didn't speak, he couldn't, the lump in his throat wouldn't let him, even if he had known what words to say. So he sat and held her, one thought in his mind 'this is my fault'.

Ducky came back into the room "Jethro, we need to talk, Timothy can sit with Abby for a few minutes"

Abby's whimpering started up again when she felt Gibbs move away from her. "I'll only be gone a few minutes Abs, I promise" Gibbs kissed her gently on the forehead as he stood.

"She's in shock Jethro, I'm afraid that when this mental paralysis wears off she is going to attempt some form of self harm"

"Not on my watch Ducky, she comes home with me and we don't leave her alone for a second" Gibbs spoke in a tone that his team knew well, God help anyone that tried to stand in his way.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

They moved Abby to Gibbs place and spent the next 24 hours hovering, unsure where to go or what to do.

Finally Gibbs had had enough of his space being so full of people and ordered them all home.

"I've got it covered, go home"

"You will call us if you need anything, right boss?" Tony's tone was fraught with worry.

Gibbs nodded tiredly and knowing that was the best he was going to get Tony left, ushering everyone out with him.

Gibbs plan was to use up the personal days that had accumulated over the years but that plan was shattered the very next day when Tony walked into his kitchen.

"The director wants to see you ASAP, I tried to stall him but he wasn't having it"

Gibbs shook his head in amazement, sometimes Vance just didn't know when to leave things alone.

"I did tell him that I had a dentist appointment and that I would be gone for most of the day, so I can stay here with Abby while you're gone"

Vance knew something was going on and that Gibbs and his team were either the cause of it, right in the middle of it or both. Everything he tired to get to the bottom of it was met with a stone wall; it seemed every member of this damn agency had their backs, what did that man have that inspired such unwavering loyalty in people that barely knew him? So he wasted no time when Gibbs entered his office.

"Where exactly is Miss Sciuto?"

"Exactly? I don't know"

"Don't play games with me Jethro"

"I need to take some time off"

"No"

"No?"

"You got a hearing problem now? No."

"Why?"

"I don't have to give you reasons for my decisions. I'll ask you again, where is Miss Sciuto?"

Gibbs took a deep breath "Leon, I need you to back off this"

"A member of my agency is missing, you clearly know something that I don't and you just expect me to back off?"

"Yeah"

"I need you and your team, ALL of them here and focused"

"You have other agents, other teams"

"That is not the point"

Gibbs threw up his hands in disgust, leaving the office in much the same way he came in.

Running down to the bull pen he sat down angrily, ignoring the questioning looks from McGee and Ziva.

Standing up minutes later he announced "Going for coffee, anyone wanna join me?"

The unexpected request had both agents on their feet and in the elevator in seconds.

Gibbs took the brunt of his anger out on the road between the Navy Yard and his house; he drove so aggressively that even Ziva was slightly green when they got out.

Tony popped his head out of the living room when he heard footsteps, Gibbs he was expecting but he was surprised by the other 2.

"How is she?"

"No change"

Gibbs waved them all towards the kitchen, taking a minute to gaze softly at Abby.

"Vance won't approve any personal time for any of us, he knows something is going on and isn't happy about being kept out"

"So what do we do now?"

"We do it under the radar, in shifts. Ducky can help out and I'm pretty sure Fornell will pitch in when he can"

"I cannot do this"

"Ziva! What? Why?" McGee was surprised at her statement.

"Abby does not respond well to my presence, being alone with me will make things worse"

"Ziva's right" Gibbs voice was gentle. The last thing he wanted to do was put any more pressure on her.

"I can help in other ways, I can work extra hours, cover for all the dentist appointments you three will be suddenly needing"

"We have to get back; we'll work out the details later"

Left alone again at his 'dentist' appointment Tony wandered back through to the living room.

Tony being Tony spent the next several hours watching movies. He kept up a running commentary through the first 2, getting no more reaction than a faint smile from Abby.

On the third one he lapsed into silence and let his thoughts wander.

_He had always seen Abby as his little sister and he desperately wanted her back. He didn't know if that was possible, they had gotten Ziva back against all odds but no one would question the fact that the Ziva that came back with them wasn't the same Ziva who had gone. _

_He blamed himself, he should have noticed the changes in Abby, regardless of how subtle or spread out they had been, he should have noticed. Not just him, the whole damn team should have noticed. He wondered if he could ever forgive himself or them for letting this happen. Would Abby ever forgive them?_

_He thought about the team, he knew that most 'outsiders' saw them as a family, infallible and unbreakable. Well that had clearly been proven wrong._

_His mind drifted to each member of the team, how well did they actually know each other? Did any of them actually know each other well enough to spot any changes? If McGee was to change, would he notice? What about Gibbs? That man was hard to read at the best of times. What if anything changing in his behaviour would alert him to something being wrong? Ziva? That girl seemed to change every time he looked at her, what would it take for him to start worrying? Staying on that note, would any of the team noticed if he changed?_

_He looked over at Abby, would she ever be the same again? Would any of them?_


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

It took Vance a few days to realise that he never saw all of Team Gibbs in the same place at the same time, any other team and he probably wouldn't have noticed but that lot were usually joined at the hip. Standing at the top of the stairs his eyes swept the room and seeing no-one but McGee he hurried down.

"Agent McGee, where are the rest of your team?"

"Uh, Gibbs and Tony are out running down a lead, Ziva is interviewing witnesses"

"Leaving you here alone to do what?"

McGee looked confused "Um, run down financial records"

"So I should see all of you here in a few hours?"

"Don't see why not, Sir"

Vance walked away but McGee knew he would be watching closely so rather than reach for his cell, he sent a high priority e-mail from his PC "Vance expects to see you all back here later today"

Tony grimaced when he saw the message and called Gibbs.

"Damn that man! Pick me up on the way back to the Yard"

Gibbs quickly ruled out Ducky, he'd be up to his eyes in the double autopsy so he called Fornell, who promised to juggle things around and be there as soon as he could be.

Fornell and Tony arrived at the same time.

"Ziva's already back and Vance is prowling" Tony was quick to update his boss.

"Let's get going then, Tobias, one of us will be back as soon as we can"

"I don't understand why you don't just tell the man Jethro, but I'll play this your way"

The smirk was wiped off Vance's face when he saw Gibbs and Tony breeze into the office together.

Shortly after the triumphant return, McGee left to take over from Fornell.

McGee was nervous around Abby, scrap that he was absolutely terrified. Terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing, terrified that he would be the one that made her worse, terrified that if she tried to leave or to hurt herself he wouldn't be able to stop her.

He sat with her in an un-natural and uncomfortable silence. When this became unbearable he started to talk, his words started out as a hesitant trickle but rapidly became an unintelligible babble. He talked about anything and everything previous cases, tech, games, anything and everything except the things he really wanted to say.

After a while he realised that nothing he was saying was making any sense and was getting no reaction from Abby so he lapsed back into silence letting his thoughts drift.

_He was supposed to be an investigator but he had missed every clue that something was different in Abby's life. He'd missed all the signs that something was wrong with the woman he had once believed he would marry._

_His incompetence has caused this, he worried that she would never forgive him, that the rest of the team would never forgive him. _

_Gibbs had to blame him, he was supposed to be her friend and he had let her down, he hadn't had her six and in his bosses eyes that was a crime with no hope of forgiveness._

_Tony would hold this against him for the rest of his life. Using it, rightfully, to destroy any confidence he might build up._

_He worried most about Ziva, his cowardice had forced her to go back into her past and become someone she thought she had left behind._

_This whole thing was his fault, maybe he should just quit, leave, they would probably be thankful, not having to wonder when his next screw up would happen, wondering when the next person would be damaged by his incompetence. _

McGee looked up to find Gibbs standing, looking at him, a strange expression on his face, an expression of compassion, of understanding.

_No, he would stay; he would find a way to make this up to Abby, to make it up to all of them._


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

Finally the weekend rolled round and Gibbs had never been so glad to see it. His team was supposed to be on call but Agent Phillips had offered to cover it, in fact the team leaders of every team had offered and not just for this weekend. He was grateful and a little overwhelmed by the show of support him and his team had received. They had had warning texts and calls whenever Vance was on the prowl, people intercepting Vance and distracting him whenever possible, the lab had been cleaned up and everything broken replaced without Vance realising it had ever been smashed up. He barely knew the names of most of these people so he reasoned that in their minds, by helping him they were really helping Abby.

She had been calm since the move to his house, too calm and utterly silent, locked in her own private hell.

Gibbs fought the maelstrom of emotion he felt every time he looked at her. She would eventually reach out and he was determined to be there when she did, so he sat with her in silence hour after hour, holding her when she was awake and hovering over her while she slept.

Late Saturday night he stood alone in his kitchen, he desperately wanted to go down to his basement but he just as desperately didn't want to have that much physical space between him and Abby.

He sensed more than heard movement in the hallway, silently he moved to the doorway and watched as Abby reached for the door handle.

"Don't even think about it"

Abby's hand dropped to her side and she spoke for the first time "Let me go Gibbs" her voice was hoarse and barely audible.

Gibbs was momentarily blinded by panic, there was no time to think through his words or actions, he had to act on instinct and hope he was doing the right thing.

He moved quickly, taking hold of her shoulders he spun her to face him "That is never going to happen, Abby, NEVER"

"I can't" was all she said as she looked up at him. The pain shining clearly from her eyes was almost more than he could bear but he forced himself to maintain eye contact, his hands moving on auto pilot to hold hers when she started to tear at her skin.

"None of this is your fault, Abs"

"YES IT IS" she screamed back at him "I can't, I can't…" she couldn't find the words she needed and began to shake violently.

Gibbs pulled her into him saying nothing, trying to stop the tremors by shear force of will power.

"It's too much, what Ziva did, what I made her do, it's too much" Abby stopped shaking after speaking but Gibbs continued to hold her tightly, when he did eventually loosen his grip he saw that the clarity in her eyes was gone, the walls of her internal prison had once again claimed her.

**A/N I know…just when you thought the angst was coming to an end…**


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Gibbs didn't pace but he paced the remainder of that night. Gibbs didn't chew his nails but that night everyone of his finger tips oozed blood. Gibbs didn't want to make the call but that night he knew he had to.

He stood on his porch and watched the sun come up, despite the early hour he couldn't wait any longer, he flipped open his cell and dialled 2 numbers.

Predictably Ziva arrived first, worry etched across her face. Sensing that she wasn't the only one Gibbs was expecting, she took the offered coffee and sat down. She didn't have to wait long before the sounds of a car pulling up were heard. In unison both she and Gibbs stood and went out to the porch.

Gibbs, in a quiet voice, filled them in on what had occurred hours before.

"This reminds me of a case I worked on in my youth…"

"Now is not the time for stories Duck" Gibbs said softly.

"No, of that I am well aware Jethro, but this _is _relevant. She needs something or someone to focus her anger on, she needs an outlet otherwise she will continue to blame herself, much like the rest of you are doing"

Gibbs gave him a sharp look.

"Jethro, we all feel some sense of failure here, we all missed things which in hindsight were glaringly obvious signs something was very wrong but what we must all remember is that Curtis is the one to blame. There is nothing we can do about the past but we can work together to make sure Abby has a future"

"Just tell me what to do Duck"

"I believe this is where I come in" Ziva said rising to her feet.

The two men looked up at her.

"You said she needed someone to focus on, I will be that someone"

"I'm not gonna ask you to do that Ziver"

"You are not asking"

"Ziva, do you understand what you offering, it is unlikely that your friendship with Abby will survive" Ducky asked gently.

Ziva took a deep breath, her eyes filling with tears "It is a sacrifice that one of us has to make and it will hurt Abby less if it is me"

"What about how much it'll hurt you?"

"I am not the important one in this"

Gibbs looked at her in anguish "You are important to me! This isn't why I called you, I will not choose between you"

Ziva sat back down and leant against Gibbs, her head on his shoulder. "I know, that is why I am choosing for you"

Gibbs slipped his arm around her shoulders. The three friends sat on the porch as the day brightened and the world came to life around them.

Ziva told Gibbs and Ducky they had to stay out of the room, regardless of what they heard or thought was happening. Reluctantly Gibbs agreed and Ziva walked upstairs with a heavy tread.

"Are we doing the right thing Duck?"

Only time will tell Jethro, only time will tell"

Ziva stopped at the bedroom door. Her brain was telling her it was the right thing to do; her heart was screaming at her that there had to be another way. She forced herself to ignore her emotions, to become the cold hearted bitch she had been before NCIS. She wasn't ready, she could never go fully back there but she pushed open the door, closing it softly behind her.

Abby was sitting up, her eyes open but seeing nothing that was in the room.

"Abby"

She didn't respond, but she did push herself further into the corner, pulling the duvet tighter.

Ziva perched on the edge of the bed, not touching Abby but close enough to ensure she knew there was no escape route.

"What Curtis did to you is not your fault, what I did is not your fault"

Abby started to tremble slightly.

Ziva didn't stop "You cannot change what Curtis did to you; that is something you will learn to live with. You cannot change what I did, that is something I will live with. You cannot change what Gibbs, Tony, McGee, Ducky did not say or do, and that is something they will have learn to live with. You are responsible for none of these things"

Abby's shaking was becoming more pronounced. Her eyes had become focused but she refused to look at Ziva.

"What you ARE responsible for is what is happening now. Gibbs is risking his job for you, lying to Vance, avoiding work. You do know that they take it in turns to have dentist appointments so someone will always be here. They are giving up their lives for you and all you are doing is cause them more grief"

Abby turned to Ziva, anger flaring in her eyes. "They killed Curtis!"

Ziva wasn't surprised by this accusation; she knew from bitter personal experience that a mind in this state rarely followed a straight path.

"I killed Curtis"

Abby glared at her, hatred now blazing alongside the anger.

"I killed him, Abby, and I would do it again"

"He was my friend!"

"He was using you; he was destroying both you and my family"

"You're lying, you, all of you, just didn't want me to have a friend you didn't pre approve!"

Ziva stood up; she had spotted the FBI file lying on the dresser. She picked it up and threw it at Abby. "Read this, this is who your 'friend' really was"

Abby ignored the file "I hate you, I hate all of you!" she hissed

Ziva flipped the file open and picked up a photo at random "This was one of his previous 'friends', did you really expect Gibbs to stand back and watch that happen to you? He loves you, he would do anything for you and this is how you repay him? I should have left Curtis to finish you off"

Abby didn't respond; her eyes were locked on the photo. Ziva dropped it face up onto the bed, just as Abby started scratching her arms she opened the door and ran downstairs, "Go to her" she managed to say before throwing up violently into the kitchen sink.

**A/N just when you think things are getting better…..**


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Gibbs hesitated, looking at Ziva, looking at Ducky, pleading with one of them to give him an answer. "Go" Ziva gave him his answer and he bolted up the stairs. Gathering Abby into his arms he fought against her shaking and scratching and tried to calm her.

Downstairs Ducky was doing much the same thing with Ziva, holding her, feeling helpless as she sobbed against his shoulder.

Over the remainder of the weekend, Abby was almost lucid; she became obsessed with the FBI file on Curtis, reading the details over and over, spending hours staring at the photos. She ate when Gibbs put food down, drank when he handed her a cup but she did not look at him or communicate with him in any way.

Gibbs didn't like the course things were taking, he didn't like this change in Abby and he didn't like the effect on Ziva but he felt powerless to do anything other than go along with it, he didn't have anything better to offer.

Ziva had told him in no uncertain terms that she would return every day. Gibbs insisted that either Ducky or Tony came with her. There was no way he was leaving her alone to deal with the aftermath of whatever she did when alone with Abby.

Late Sunday evening Ziva and Tony arrived. Ziva looked awful, she clearly hadn't slept and her eyes were red and bloodshot.

Gibbs held her for a long time before she pushed him away and started her slow march upstairs.

Abby stared at her, fear and anger flicking across her face.

Ziva waited, letting the silence grow. She knew the accusations she had made yesterday had registered somewhere in Abby's mind and that she would have spent the intervening hours forming a defence against why it wasn't her fault. Ziva knew this and had no intention of repeating those accusations that had just been a ruse to get her mind focused.

She started talking about the team, focusing on the unique relationships Abby had built up with each of them over the years, she spoke at length about the problems each were currently facing.

Abby was silent throughout. Ziva knew she was waiting on the responsibility of these changes being pushed onto her shoulders, so instead she shouldered them herself.

"I accept responsibility for all of this mess"

Abby blinked rapidly, but that was the only outward show of surprise.

"I killed Curtis; I took him away from you. If I had not done so, you would not be behaving towards them the way you currently are" Ziva deliberately ignored all of Abby's behaviour since meeting Curtis. She had to give Abby something to cling to, no matter how illusionary.

Ziva watched Abby closely, she knew there would be little to no immediate reaction; her mind needed time to sort through the all the contradictory information.

Abby's hands moved to cover her ears "no, no, no" she started repeating over and over. It was all Ziva needed, she turned and fled the room.

As soon as Gibbs heard her feet on the stairs he ran up them knowing that Tony would take care of Ziva.

That first day Ziva had confronted Abby with something she couldn't face, from that day on, day after day Ziva gave her something that was far more palatable. Day after day she returned and bludgeoned Abby with memories of what she had had, and would still have had if Ziva hadn't taken it away. What she never mentioned was the effect on her, the way she threw up every time she left the room, the way it took her longer and longer to stop the tears, the way she was afraid to close her eyes because of the nightmares that plagued her.

After a week, Abby reacted and Ziva breathed a mental sigh of relief.

"Ok, I get it; you're a bitch who's wrecked everyone's lives, why are you telling me day after day?" Abby's voice was loaded with venom.

"Because they think that you blame them, I cannot fix this Abby, only you can do that, talk to them, tell them that you know they did nothing wrong, tell them that you know it was all me"

Ziva left without waiting for a response, she was physically and mentally drained, she had given all she could; now it was up to Abby.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

Gibbs was the first person to benefit from Abby's new found beliefs.

Ziva had stopped him going to Abby on her last visit, told him Abby needed time to think things through on her own. The look in her eye made him believe her. Before Ziva and Tony left she told him one last thing, no matter what Abby said, he was to go along with it, regardless of how far from the truth it was.

It was hours after Ziva left that Abby emerged. She looked, different, more alert. For the first time in months, she met Gibbs eyes and spoke.

"You need to stop beating yourself up, I don't blame you for what happened to Curtis"

Gibbs didn't know how to respond so he stayed silent.

"I mean Ziva admitted it all, and I get how you would think I blamed you, but I don't."

Gibbs mind raced _Ziva admitted it all? What on earth was she talking about?_

"Uh huh"

Gibbs was further taken aback when Abby launched herself into his arms, automatically his arms went round her but his mind was in turmoil.

Disentangling herself from him Abby stepped back "Gibbs? What day is it?"

"Tuesday. Why?"

"I need to get back to work; god alone knows what's been done to my babies since I've been gone"

"Whoa, slow down Abs! No-one has touched anything; we've been using an outside lab"

"Even more reason for me to get back!"

Realising he was fighting a losing battle Gibbs relented, "Monday, let me smooth things over with Vance first"

"Yeah, I guess he's pretty pissed"

"Nothing I can't handle" Gibbs said with a smile.

Against Abby's protestations, Gibbs continued the 'babysitting' rota for the rest of that week; partly because he wanted to see how she reacted to the other members of the team and partly because he didn't trust this sudden and dramatic return to 'normal'.

Half of his worries were fruitless; Abby laughed and joked with Tony and McGee, suddenly she was the one reassuring them, telling them repeatedly that nothing was their fault and that Ziva had explained it all and that it was only her Abby had to be pissed at.

Luckily they had both been briefed by Ziva and didn't question any of Abby's statements, odd though they were.

The other half of Gibbs' concerns grew by the day, faced with her belief that Curtis had been nothing more than a harmless friend that Ziva had killed out of jealously and that she had been behaving perfectly normal until Ziva committed said murder, made his blood run cold. He couldn't understand, she had read the file on Curtis obsessively, could probably recite it word for word.

He looked everywhere for the file and when it clearly wasn't in his house, he called Ziva. She admitted she had the file, she had taken it so Abby wouldn't have access to anything that would contradict what she was trying to get her to believe.

Monday rolled round far too quickly for Gibbs. He had told Vance that she was coming back today, he had offered no explanation as to how he knew this or where she had been. Vance, wisely, hadn't pushed the issue. Now Monday was here, Abby was waiting impatiently for him to finish his coffee and he wished it was a never ending cup.

He was tense and silent on the drive into the office. He fully intended to keep Abby and Ziva separated for as long as possible but knew that, eventually, there would be a confrontation, he just hoped he was there to step in when it did.

As soon he parked Abby ran into the building, headed straight for her lab.

The rest of the day whirled by, anyone looking in would think life had returned to normal, for team Gibbs, it was nothing but a weird parody.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

**A/N I know I've made you wait a while for this one, I've had trouble writing this one, and I really don't know why….any way here it is, 20 will ****be up soon, maybe even tonight.**

That first week ended in pretty much the same shape it started, Abby seemingly back to normal and Gibbs sick with worry.

He worried about Abby and the abrupt return to 'normal', he knew the illusion could shatter with just one wrong word. He worried about Ziva, what this was doing to her, he couldn't even begin to imagine. He worried about Tony; the dark circles under his eyes told him that Ziva wasn't the only one being kept awake by her nightmares. He worried about McGee, he had retreated into the shell they had worked so hard to bring him out of and he had no idea what to do help him. He worried about what was coming next and if any of them would have the strength to cope with it. He didn't have any energy left to worry about himself.

That 'next thing' Gibbs was worried about, didn't take long to materialise.

Late Friday night he was in his basement, although the piece of wood was right there in front of him and the tool was in his hand, fatigue has shut down his brain and he had no idea what he was supposed to do with either. In despair he swapped the tool for a jar of bourbon.

Abby rattled down the stairs, "Gibbs!"

He looked at her, too exhausted to reply.

"You know I love you and I love staying here right?"

"I sense a but coming"

Abby looked momentarily crestfallen but ploughed on "…but…..I want to go back to my own apartment"

Gibbs looked at her, catching her eye and holding her gaze "ok"

"Great! I've already packed"

"You want to go _now?"_

Abby nodded enthusiastically, with a sigh and a longing glance at his bourbon, Gibbs stood up "ok"

The drive to Abby's was both too long and too short for Gibbs, too long because he was tired and driving required focus, too short because his gut was telling him no good was going to come of this.

Abby was out of the car almost before it stopped, running round to the trunk.

"Leave the bags for now; let's just go check the place first"

The elevator was out of order, so they walked up, Abby's front door became visible step by step. Gibbs watched her, on edge, ready for anything, his gut screaming. Abby reached the door and reached out; she ran her fingertips down the wood and sank to her knees.

She looked at Gibbs who had sat beside her on the floor, her breathing was shallow and she was blinking rapidly.

"I can't do it" she said in a whisper "I don't know why, I just can't do it, I can't go in, there's something in the back of my head, something I should remember, I can't, I can't remember, I can't go in, I can't come back here"

Gibbs pulled her into a hug "Shhh, it's ok, you don't have to"

Abby started to shake; Gibbs pulled her to her feet "Let's get out of here"

By the time they were back at his place and the bags unloaded, Abby was acting like nothing had happened and Gibbs didn't know whether to be worried about that or not.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

Several weeks passed with little change. The tension within the team hadn't lessened, they were living a lie and that knowledge was tearing them apart.

Gibbs knew he had to something, his team was disintegrating before his eyes, he knew he had to do something; he just had no idea what.

"Ah Duck" Gibbs said as he leant against the dissecting table.

Ducky sensed this was a time for a reversal of positions; he had to remain silent while Gibbs talked.

"I don't how much more of this we can take, individually, as a team, we're a mess.

The fiction that Ziva convinced Abby to believe, I know that's the only thing keeping Abby sane but I never thought the cost would the sanity of everyone else"

Gibbs lapsed into silence, willing Ducky to give him an answer.

"We are facing a very stark choice here Jethro, we either learn to live with the lie or we tell Abby the truth about Curtis and live with the fallout"

"If we tell her the truth now, it could destroy her"

"If we don't it could destroy us all"

The two men continued talking quietly, neither noticed Abby standing just outside the door.

**A/N I know it's short, I intended it to be a lot longer but this felt like the right place to stop.**


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

Gibbs left autopsy with a heavy heart, he knew he had to tell Abby the truth and it wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to.

Deciding there was no time like the present he made his way to the lab, surprised to find it empty, but as all the machines were still on and music was blaring from the stereo he figured Abby wasn't far and sat down to wait, after switching off the music.

When she still hadn't returned half an hour later, Gibbs went up to the squad room.

"Anyone seen Abby?"

When he got three shaking heads he pulled out his cell and dialled her number, the phone rang out. Acting on a hunch he went back to the lab, dialling her number again. Her cell was sitting on her desk, Gibbs worry meter went up a notch, Abby never went anywhere without her cell, it was practically part of her anatomy.

Running back upstairs he grabbed his car keys, "You see Abby, you call me" he demanded as he punched the elevator call button.

The three agents shared a look of despair, 'would this nightmare ever end?' was the unspoken question foremost in each of their minds.

Gibbs walked through his home, the place was a mess, it had clearly been ransacked. He left the basement till last, feeling ill at the thought of what damage had been done down there but it hadn't suffered the way the rest of the house had, searched; yes, but not obliterated like his front room.

It took him hours to clean up and determine that nothing was missing and despite first appearances, nothing was actually broken. It could only have been Abby, but why? What had she been looking for? Why hadn't she just asked him for whatever it was? Had she realised he was hiding things from her? Gibbs mind flipped from one unanswerable question to the next. He had to find her but he knew he couldn't do it alone.

He hated to do this to them, they had been through enough but Gibbs called his team, again, and they all answered the summons, again. All, that is, except Ziva.

Her phone rang and rang, eventually flipping to voice mail. He tried again, this time the ringing was cut short. The third time he tried the call went straight to voice mail.

Ziva. Abby. He knew this was no coincidence; he jumped into his car calling the boys on the way, telling them to meet him outside Ziva's, praying that he was right.

McGee was pulling into the parking lot just in front of Gibbs, and they both waited impatiently for Tony. After what felt like an eternity, but was really less than a minute, Gibbs barked at Tim to wait while he ran into the building.

Resisting the urge to batter down the door, he knocked gently.

"Ziva?"

There was no response to either his knocking or his calling out but he could hear movement inside.

He knocked again, more insistently, and when he called out his voiced had an edge of panic.

"Gibbs, you should not be here, everything is fine, _we _are fine"

He knew by both her words and her tone that Abby was there and that there was no immediate need to apply his size 12 boots to the door frame.

He wanted to say something meaningful, something that would diffuse whatever was going behind that door, but words had never been his strong point and they failed him completely now. He hoped that his silence would be understood by the girls, he hoped that they both knew he wasn't going anywhere.

Gibbs didn't understand what was happening or why it was happening now, he did understand that for better or worse, this was the final showdown.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

Abby was pacing, her hands on her head. She kept pausing to glare at Ziva, every time she seemed on the verge of speaking then decided not to and carried on pacing.

Ziva watched her every move, standing still and silent against a wall.

Abby hadn't spoken since she had arrived several hours ago, this un-nerved Ziva more than she cared to admit, she assumed Abby was here to demand her resignation or that she turn her herself in for the murder of Curtis.

When Abby suddenly said "I want to see the file, Gibbs doesn't have it and I know you wouldn't destroy it so that means you have it" Ziva knew the illusion she had sacrificed so much to create and maintain had shattered. Abby wasn't screaming, that was a good sign, she hadn't retreated into a catatonic state, that was also a good sign, but something about her pacing reminded Ziva of a caged animal and that wasn't a good sign.

"Ziva! The file"

Ziva gave herself a mental shake "It is not here"

"LIAR"

"I mean it is not in this room" Ziva quickly explained and just as quickly retrieved the file. Slowly she crossed the room and put the file into Abby's waiting hands.

Abby flipped through the file, not really reading it, more reminding herself of the contents. Seemingly satisfied she left the file drop to the floor.

"You lied to me; you all did, over and over and over."

Abby shook her head "and you called yourself my friend"

"I still do"

Abby gave an ironic chuckle "Well if this is what you do to a friend, I hope I never have you as an enemy"

Ziva forced herself to make eye contact, the two women stared at each other in silence until Ziva broke and looked down, her eyes filling with tears she was determined not to spill.

"Let them in"

"Who?"

"The boys outside in the hallway, you know as well as I do that they were never going to leave, all you did was stop Gibbs kicking the door down"

Ziva walked to the door, Gibbs burst in as soon as he heard the lock disengage.

He glanced at Ziva but went immediately towards Abby but the look she gave him stopped him dead in his tracks. Her eyes held little emotion, they were cold and calculating and it chilled his blood.

"One of you say something" Abby demanded

"I was only trying to help" Ziva stepped forward as she spoke, putting herself between Abby and the boys.

"HELP! This creep lied to me and manipulated into believing what he wanted me to, and you thought it would _help_ by doing exactly the same thing?" Abby's voice was rising and her tone was incredulous.

Ziva opened her mouth to speak again but Tony pushed her aside.

"Yeah, _we_ thought it would help, not just Ziva, all of us. We saw, too late, what this guy was doing to you, but you wouldn't listen to us, to any of us, you called us liars, remember?"

Gibbs reached out and took hold of Tony's shoulder, Tony shrugged him off; this had gone too far, he had had enough.

"This isn't your fault, I get that, I really do, but it's not our fault either. Curtis got you to believe a lie to destroy you; we did it to repair what he had damaged. He did it out of hate; we did it out of love. You may never accept the sacrifices that every member of this team made to give you that lie. The lie that kept you from tearing your own skin off, the lie that let you sleep at night, the lie that gave you your life back but know this, sacrifices were made, and continue to be made."

Tony was breathing heavily, after months of bottling up his emotions, and weeks of being 'strong' for Ziva, he had found an outlet.

"You want to hate us for what we've done? Fine. Just remember this: We fight for the people we love, and the fight gets dirty, so be it. You want to hate us for that? Fine. At least you're here and sane enough to make that your own decision"

Everyone was staring at Tony, when it was obvious he had finished, everyone turned to stare at Abby, wondering simultaneously how on earth she was going to respond.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

Abby stared at them, a stunned expression on her face.

"Does he….Do you….Is that how you all feel?"

Reluctantly everyone nodded.

Gibbs thought his heart was breaking, Abby looked so forlorn, so alone, so confused. All he wanted to do was go to her, wrap his arms around her and make everything ok. He caught her eye and held her gaze.

"I'd like to go home now please" she said in a subdued tone.

Gibbs jumped forward and took hold of her, gently leading her from the apartment and into the car, leaving the others to look after themselves.

Tony sat down heavily, his head in his hands. Ziva sat next to him, her head on his shoulder; she pulled Tim with her, her arm around his waist. They sat that way for a long time, each of them connected to the other and at the same time completely alone.

Gibbs assumed that by 'home' Abby meant his house, so he drove there, keeping one eye on the road and the other on Abby. She looked smaller, more vulnerable than he had ever seen her.

As soon as they were in the house, he pulled her into a hug, Abby didn't pull away but she didn't hug him back either. When he let go, she turned and run upstairs.

Gibbs started to make coffee then stopped, coffee was the last thing his body needed. He looked at the stairs, the though of climbing them was too much, he went to the sofa and lay down, his only concession to making a bed was to take his boots off.

For the first time in months his gut wasn't telling him to be on the alert, before falling into a deep sleep he had time to realise that Abby's reactions tonight, while upsetting were natural and genuine.

Two nights later Gibbs was in bed, lying awake in the dark, thinking. He had talked with Ducky about the latest development and he was in agreement that this was a good sign, anything Abby chose to do now would be her own decisions, un-swayed by any manipulation. Gibbs didn't like the idea of losing Abby from his life, but he knew he was powerless to stop her, if that's what she felt she had to do. He was troubled by her accusation that they had behaved like Curtis, he hadn't thought of it that way at all, but now he understood that other than intention, there was little difference in what they had done.

A creak from his bedroom door brought him from his reverie. "Abby?" He said softly.

The door opened wider to reveal Abby standing nervously.

"Come on in" Gibbs said sitting up.

Abby hesitated then went into the room, perching on the edge of his bed.

The light spilling from the hallway let Gibbs see the tears coursing down Abby's face, he reached out and took hold of her hand, the only bit of her he could reach easily, he pulled gently, trying to get her to come closer.

After a momentary pause, she did move and allowed Gibbs to fold her into his arms.

Eventually, when he could tell by her breathing she had stopped crying, she pushed away and he made no effort to stop her. She didn't leave though; instead she climbed into the middle of the bed and sat cross legged.

"Can we talk?" She asked in a small voice

"Of course"

"I remember everything"

Gibbs stayed silent, waiting for her to continue, her internal struggle was being played out across her face, he knew he couldn't rush her.

"Why?"

"That's a pretty big question Abs."

"You never gave up, any of you, despite everything I did and said, you kept trying"

"We love you" Gibbs said simply with no hesitation.

"Even now?" Abby's voice was barely above a whisper.

Gibbs leaned forward and lifted Abby's chin, forcing her to look him in the eye "Yes"

His obvious sincerity was rewarded with a tiny smile.

Tony, Ziva and Tim all woke up to the same text message.

'I have the best friends in the world. I love them'

Gibbs stood at the bar watching his team, it had been Ducky's idea to have a team night out. At times it was awkward with long silent pauses, at times the joviality felt forced, but they were here, all of them and they were trying. He knew that there would be difficult days ahead as they re-built bridges and let wounds, both real and imaginary heal but he knew they would make it and be stronger than ever.

THE END

A/N phew! Finally we got to the end, I want to thank everyone who has stuck with this story, set up alerts and submitted reviews, it was this unexpected response that kept me writing till 2am when common sense told me I should be sleeping!

I'm sure you will have noticed that at no point in this story were we ever inside Abby's head and we never found out how Curtis came into her life and got such a hold over her. That was deliberate – a companion piece is being written that will re-tell the whole thing entirely from Abby's POV.


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